Fight It
by idioticonion
Summary: Three mini-fics set after The Fight, explaining some of the things in that episode that bugged me.


1. Hurt

Robin emerges sheepishly from the bedroom only to find that Barney's still there. She sits down next to him, her hip bumping awkwardly against his where the old cushion gives way beneath her.

He's studiously ignoring her, doing something on his phone. She suspects he's still sore about her brain getting stuck on the words "that- er". He probably counted the number of times she said it and was waiting for the right time to throw it in her face.

Robin knows full well how stupid she's been using the whole "fight" thing as an opportunity to flirt shameless with him. Now she's just frustrated and annoyed with Marshall for spoiling it before she had a chance to get her freak on.

Still, Barney really does look incredibly hot with that injury. This close, she can see the colours: The smudge of purple and yellow across the swell of his cheekbone.

Damn him!

She reaches out and pokes him hard, right beneath the eye.

"Ow!" He says, but continues fiddling with his phone.

She crosses her arms angrily. "Admit it, Barney. You've never been in a real fight in your whole life, have you?"

He slowly lowers his phone and turns towards her, giving her his full attention. "Robin, I grew up with a string of absentee Dads, a Mom who taught me how to smoke before I could write my own name and went to an inner-city public school. What do you think?"

He reaches out, one finger gently lifting her chin to close her gaping mouth.

For a moment, he's so close, inching a fraction closer and her heart skips a beat. She's sure he's going to kiss her.

But then he ruins it with a smirk and looks away. He's back on his phone before she even has time to blink.

2. Doug

When Marshall's fist connects there's a shimmer in the air. They all feel it. He's left holding the toupee and it feels like animal fur in his hand.

"You know," Ted says with a groan. "This reminds me of the time we all met… Doug…"

Marshall shakes his head. It feels like there's an insect trapped in there. "Who the hell IS Doug?"

Barney rounds the corner. "Okay, I'm all warmed up. Let's do this thing." He sees Ted sprawled on the floor and some huge dude on his back in the middle of the alley. "What happened?"

Marshall waves the toupee at him, still barely able to believe it. They all look incredulously at the shape on the floor as it begins to change before their eyes.

Ted's the first to express it. "Holy crap!"

Marshall can't help but grin. "I told you there were aliens! Robin, I _told_ you," He and Lily high five.

"I'm sorry dudes," Says "Doug". "I just saw you guys in that bar and you always looked like you were having so much fun. I just wanted to be part of it."

They all look at each other. Marshall takes a step forward and helps not-Doug to his feet. Not-Doug's hands feel smooth and scaly. "So you m-messed with our m-minds?" Marshall stuttered. "Made us think we'd known you for years?"

Doug shrugs.

Marshall can't help but grin. "Aliens! This is so great!"

Doug begins to smile. "You mean, you're not going to turn me in to the authorities?"

Barney steps forward, straightening his tie. "Well, bro… if there's still that offer of free drinks?"

3. Snitch

Robin sits down at their regular table in McLaren's just as Lily is scolding Marshall.

"I'm sorry Marshmellow, but you need to hear this. It's a basic lesson that I tell all the kids in my class. No one likes a tittle tattle."

Marshall pouts and looks about to rebel but Lily slams her beer bottle on the table.

"Damn it, Marshall, this is the second time! I thought that you ratting Barney out to Ted was pretty low, but snitching on both of your friends to Robin…?" She nods her head across the table.

Robin shrugs. "Lily's right, Marshall. It was a shitty thing to do. Isn't it supposed to be Bros before Hoes?" She smirks and wonders where she's picked up that expression.

Doug brings her a drink and she grins a thank-you at the big guy… alien… whatever.

Marshall's still pouting. "Not fair. That's two against one. I'm gonna go to the little boy's room," he says, scooting out of the booth.

Robin laughs and gives Lily a "hey-oh" and a hand-clap.

Lily takes a sip of her beer. "You know, Ted has quite a shiner now, after he punched Doug."

Robin nods vaguely. "Good old Doug."

Lily grins, her eyes sparkling. "But I don't see you pawing him."

Robin raises an eyebrow. "Maybe I've learned my lesson."

Lily sniggers. "Yeah right. You were all over Barney like a rash."

"I was _not_!" The last word degenerates into a nervous giggle.

"Oh my god, Robin! You like Barney!"

Robin blushes. "I do _not_!" After a bit she continues, "If you ever say anything I will come round to your apartment and shoot you in the knees."

Lily laughs. "Oh yeah?" She says and as she's sipping her drink, she mumbles. "This is gonna be goooood."


End file.
